A few years ago my family sat in a really sad stage. We had come out of some trials. There was fighting and pain and broken relationships.

I dreaded the holiday season. Seeing my family brought up painful memories and past hurts. 

I was full of anxiety and I felt like I needed to put on armor to go home. 

I wanted to avoid being hurt and to make it through the holiday untouched. 

A week before I would be seeing my family, my friend Danielle and I went to a conference. One of the songs they played had these lyrics:

Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me

I know who stands behind

The God of angel armies

Is always by my side

The words Angel Armies caught my attention. It reminded me of my previous job in event planning. Pre-kids and pre-living in the middle of nowhere

These events were top-notch, beautiful and the planning was extensive. If there was a VIP performer or special guest, we’d meet with their security detail or the Secret Service before the party.  

The security guys, dressed in suits with little microphones – just like the movies, would walk through the entire event program. 

They would know ahead of time exactly where the VIP would be at the exact time. They’d know exactly when it was time to move to cocktail hour, then to dinner and we’d walk them over to the exact dinner chair the VIP would be sitting in. 

After they’d create an entire plan, leaving nothing to luck, to keep the VIP safe and protected. 

So at the conference, when I heard the song, I had this vision of my own Secret Service – an army of angels – for my holiday events. They’d walk in the rooms I’d be walking in. They would know the exact seat I’d be sitting in for dinner and who I’d be talking with.

None of it left to luck, but a carefully crafted strategy of protection. 

This protection wasn’t just a shield to hide behind.

But as a reconciler.

Mending broken relationships and healing my family. 

Restoring my freedom to show love and be vulnerable. 

It’s my hope for you, my friends, to know it’s not by luck where you will be sitting, who you will see, and what they will say. 

If you are struggling with the upcoming holidays, I hope you will feel the safeness to abandon the resistance and embrace the awkwardness. 

To walk tall with an open heart and abide in knowing a God of Angel Armies has already been where you are going.