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“Actually…”

The beginning of anything that comes out of my kid’s mouth before he tells me how I’m wrong. Which I never take personally, because he’s four. But mostly because I’m right.

Recently a friend said something wrong about me (to someone else) and it’s taking everything for me not to say, “actually…”

Why is it so hard to let people be wrong about us?

My goals:

Don’t correct them.

Don’t over explain my choice, position or beliefs.

Don’t try to convince them.

Forever our opinions are heavily influenced, if not 100% made, by our experiences, education, families, geographical location, skin color, social status, etc. We’re never completely objective. I love this by Tim Keller, “Doubt your doubts. Be skeptical of your own skepticism. Why? Because you realize that you are not completely objective.”

For those wrong about me, do I even respect their opinion or choices? “If you’re not in the arena getting your butt kicked too, I’m not interested in your feedback.” Ditto, Brene Brown. If we want a life of value we need skin in the game.

We aren’t here to gain applause. If you feel good when people approve of you, you’ll feel bad when they don’t.

Trying to live a life everyone will agree on is poison. It’s conformity.

Don’t correct them. Let them be wrong about you.

Hopefully, the person we’re most correcting is ourselves. Because this means we’re changing. Change is growth. And if we’re growing, it means at some point, people who “got us” before won’t understand now. It’s okay.