The Blog
Notes on Self-Erasure
Essays on what happens beneath insight, why old patterns hold, and what actually shifts. New posts monthly.
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Not sure which pattern is yours?
The Self-Erasure Quiz names the specific shape your pattern takes, so you know where to start.
Takes about 3 minutes. Answer is yours immediately.
You don't have to disappear to be loved.
The Fawn Response: Why Being “Good” Is Exhausting You
I learned to read the room and adjust quickly. To track what was acceptable, and stay inside it. To shift my reactions so nothing I said or felt landed wrong.
If I didn’t, I became the difficult one.
Nice was a byproduct. The goal was alignment.
What Is Self-Erasure? (And Why Insight Alone Doesn’t Fix It)
It looks like saying “I’m fine” when you are not. Apologizing when you haven’t done anything wrong. Editing your opinion in your head before it leaves your mouth, and then skipping the opinion entirely. Nodding through something you don’t believe, finding something adjacent to agree with instead, and only noticing on the drive home that you never said what you actually thought. Rehearsing a hard conversation in the shower and never having it in the kitchen.